Go to my new blog from here: mariakaarinak.com
Monday, 6 July 2020
Friday, 26 June 2020
What Makes Hearing Negative Comments Okay
Ever since I was a kid and knew how to read, I knew that I wanted to be a writer. I used to read all the time, and when I say all the time, I mean all the time. I also I used to visit the library so many times a day that when the librarians saw me (AGAIN) they started laughing. I mean, I would probably too, if I saw someone coming back and forth so many times a day with their backpack so full of books that it really is a surprise how it could actually hold all the weight. But to me, all the book reading was serious business. I didn't just love reading; I was fascinated by books and stories and I knew that no matter what else is going on, this is my world. And even though I didn't write that much back then, I knew that with this huge passion for literature, I'm going to be a writer. 'I'm going to be a writer!', was my truth, and I wasn't shy to let the world know that that is precisely what I'm going to be.
But as we all know, growing up is rarely a piece of cake. Or, growing up itself is fine, but hearing the comments and other people's opinions of you and your life while you're doing so, hmm, less often is. I heard (unfortunately) quite many things, including that I'm lazy and fat because I read so much, that I shouldn't become a writer because writers get paid poorly and I will probably end up poor and miserable and die out of hunger. Way to boost someone's confidence!
When you're a kid, the bad thing is that you assume everybody else around you to know the truth about the world. Someone calls you fat and you start believing you're fat. Someone tells you being a writer equals poor and miserable and you assume that that is so. In my case, I most certainly believed every single one of those comments, especially because they mostly came from the adults in my life. And in my little life, being an adult meant being a truth machine of the world. Oooh boy.
So what simply happened was that I buried my dream. "Do I want to become fat, lazy and poor?" I thought. Hmm, let me think, I'll pass, thanks. But what I didn't realise back then, is that I didn't just bury one single dream, I buried a big part of myself. To know you want to be something with such definite force, is more than brilliant (!!), before, of course, the truth machines arrive into your life and tell you that it is not so. 'Be something more acceptable, more secure, more rational.' And you start being whatever you think more rational, secure and acceptable is. I mean, I had no idea. But I started being something whatever it seemed like to be. Yeah, you know, "happy" times.
So as we know, hearing the comments when you're growing up is never a piece of cake. But what is actually a piece of cake, is growing up itself. Because once you grow up, you start automatically questioning the things you hear. You start questioning who the truth machines in your life were (or, worst case scenario, still are), and if they actually have their own insecurities laying behind all those comments. You start thinking that maybe I wouldn't feel fat, if I hadn't been told I'm one. You understand that just because someone doesn't accept you the way you are doesn't necessarily mean that you're not acceptable, even if you might still feel so. After all, all those comments may leave a mark, but once grown enough, you start understanding what incredible power you have. And that power is the free will and ability to choose whether you believe or not every single comment that people are saying about you.
In the end, I believe that no one gets through life without hearing some less delightful comments. And even if criticizing comments are never okay, what makes them okay, is your ability to choose what you believe or don't. Hearing other people's "truths" matters only, if you make a conscious decision to believe them and follow them into something that will become your truth as well. This is tricky especially, if you heard the comments when you were just a kid or growing up, because the chances are, that you already believed them and made them to be your truth, whether you want to admit it or not.
But the good part is, that you're not a kid anymore. You don't look like one on the outside, so if you're still one on the inside, let me tell you: it is a high time that you stop being one. Whatever you were called, was only a reflection of those criticizers' own insecurities, and just because some people around you were insecure, doesn't mean that you need to become one, too. You have the power to believe that you're amazing, capable and successful and you have got that power for a reason. After all, you are amazing, capable and successful (I mean, just look at you!) and if you're reading this, take it as a sign that the world wants your inner adult to wake up to this fact, that from now on can be your reality. Amazing, capable, successful... woah. I almost wish I were you already!
So. In the end, a lot of things in life come down to having the right truth and perspective on things. That kind of truth, that speaks kindly and respectfully to you, and which is uniquely chosen by you, because only you know your life the best, and since you're such a master in knowing your life so well (see, you're just so amazing!) only you can know what kind of truth speaks best to you.
And about those comments I heard? To be honest, I couldn't care less anymore. I may always remember how they hurt at the moment, but even that is fine, because I made a conscious decision to be an adult not only from the outside, but also from the inside, a long time ago. I want to be a writer, and the world damn better see me becoming one, because burying my dream one time around taught me the lesson that this text is all about. And if I end up getting fat, poor and miserable while doing so? Well, that is more than fine, too, because at least I got all those things by doing something that I love so deeply. So, in my opinion, I've already won. Because only I can know how freaking much I love writing, even when it came to writing this one single blogpost. After all, I love writing, that is my truth, and with my incredible free will to believe in my truth, I also choose to see myself as a winner already.
Have the BEST day ever and stay truthful to yourself no matter how hard it gets! You've got this.
Love,
Maria
But as we all know, growing up is rarely a piece of cake. Or, growing up itself is fine, but hearing the comments and other people's opinions of you and your life while you're doing so, hmm, less often is. I heard (unfortunately) quite many things, including that I'm lazy and fat because I read so much, that I shouldn't become a writer because writers get paid poorly and I will probably end up poor and miserable and die out of hunger. Way to boost someone's confidence!
When you're a kid, the bad thing is that you assume everybody else around you to know the truth about the world. Someone calls you fat and you start believing you're fat. Someone tells you being a writer equals poor and miserable and you assume that that is so. In my case, I most certainly believed every single one of those comments, especially because they mostly came from the adults in my life. And in my little life, being an adult meant being a truth machine of the world. Oooh boy.
So what simply happened was that I buried my dream. "Do I want to become fat, lazy and poor?" I thought. Hmm, let me think, I'll pass, thanks. But what I didn't realise back then, is that I didn't just bury one single dream, I buried a big part of myself. To know you want to be something with such definite force, is more than brilliant (!!), before, of course, the truth machines arrive into your life and tell you that it is not so. 'Be something more acceptable, more secure, more rational.' And you start being whatever you think more rational, secure and acceptable is. I mean, I had no idea. But I started being something whatever it seemed like to be. Yeah, you know, "happy" times.
So as we know, hearing the comments when you're growing up is never a piece of cake. But what is actually a piece of cake, is growing up itself. Because once you grow up, you start automatically questioning the things you hear. You start questioning who the truth machines in your life were (or, worst case scenario, still are), and if they actually have their own insecurities laying behind all those comments. You start thinking that maybe I wouldn't feel fat, if I hadn't been told I'm one. You understand that just because someone doesn't accept you the way you are doesn't necessarily mean that you're not acceptable, even if you might still feel so. After all, all those comments may leave a mark, but once grown enough, you start understanding what incredible power you have. And that power is the free will and ability to choose whether you believe or not every single comment that people are saying about you.
In the end, I believe that no one gets through life without hearing some less delightful comments. And even if criticizing comments are never okay, what makes them okay, is your ability to choose what you believe or don't. Hearing other people's "truths" matters only, if you make a conscious decision to believe them and follow them into something that will become your truth as well. This is tricky especially, if you heard the comments when you were just a kid or growing up, because the chances are, that you already believed them and made them to be your truth, whether you want to admit it or not.
But the good part is, that you're not a kid anymore. You don't look like one on the outside, so if you're still one on the inside, let me tell you: it is a high time that you stop being one. Whatever you were called, was only a reflection of those criticizers' own insecurities, and just because some people around you were insecure, doesn't mean that you need to become one, too. You have the power to believe that you're amazing, capable and successful and you have got that power for a reason. After all, you are amazing, capable and successful (I mean, just look at you!) and if you're reading this, take it as a sign that the world wants your inner adult to wake up to this fact, that from now on can be your reality. Amazing, capable, successful... woah. I almost wish I were you already!
So. In the end, a lot of things in life come down to having the right truth and perspective on things. That kind of truth, that speaks kindly and respectfully to you, and which is uniquely chosen by you, because only you know your life the best, and since you're such a master in knowing your life so well (see, you're just so amazing!) only you can know what kind of truth speaks best to you.
And about those comments I heard? To be honest, I couldn't care less anymore. I may always remember how they hurt at the moment, but even that is fine, because I made a conscious decision to be an adult not only from the outside, but also from the inside, a long time ago. I want to be a writer, and the world damn better see me becoming one, because burying my dream one time around taught me the lesson that this text is all about. And if I end up getting fat, poor and miserable while doing so? Well, that is more than fine, too, because at least I got all those things by doing something that I love so deeply. So, in my opinion, I've already won. Because only I can know how freaking much I love writing, even when it came to writing this one single blogpost. After all, I love writing, that is my truth, and with my incredible free will to believe in my truth, I also choose to see myself as a winner already.
Have the BEST day ever and stay truthful to yourself no matter how hard it gets! You've got this.
Love,
Maria
Wednesday, 24 June 2020
Fear
If I should name one single reason why I shouldn't write a blog, it would be the fact that putting yourself out there can seem quite daunting. Like scary, scary. The kind of halloween scary, when you're walking through the cemetary by yourself in the middle of the night and you just know that the crack you just heard behind the bushes is your dead grandpa who is going to revenge you for stealing those five bucks you stole for candy when you were five. Should've certainly thought better back then.
Your heart pounds, your legs transform from actual legs to overcooked spaghetti and you turn your head from side to side to spot the attacker that you just know to be there. The head-spinning is, of course, just a safety precaution while you're trying to decide whether to just keep it cool (like that is an option) or just run already because it is better to be safe than sorry right? I mean, when the attack does happen, what are you gonna tell the local news, that you just stood there? Really?? I mean, you know even you can't sink as low as that.
That's the thing about fear. You do something for two minutes, whether it is walking through a cemetary in the middle of the night (not recommending this to anyone, just to be clear) or you decide to do something that you just know to be your heart's desire, and just in two minutes you've gone from spaghetti-legged-you into a ghost-beaten local news hero. Wow. Quite an imagination. So, a lot can happen in two minutes, especially when we're talking about fear-based thoughts that actually don't have any connection to the human reality. The power of thoughts is amazing, but before you start believing in the power of them, it is good to ask whether those thoughts are just based on an emotion that really doesn't serve your highest good. Not anymore, at least.
But what does all this cemetary talk have to do with me and my blog?
I think everyone who knows me well (enough) knows that I've had a huge passion for writing since forever. I'm not talking about a mere liking here but, literally, a huge passion. I write poetry and aphorisms and if there is such a thing as a BIG dream, being a writer is definitely that to me.
Another fact that I've known about myself ever since the internet came along, is that I want to have a blog. And, since the internet came along quite some time ago, it is quite clear that I've been pushing my dream away for quite some time already. Why? All because of fear. What if something goes wrong?? What if my blog is boring? What if no one wants to read it? And most of all, what will everybody think???? (Here I should probably point out that out that I don't even know who "everybody" is.)
As I believe that when it comes to dreams it's never too late, here I go giving a chance to my two dreams combined into one: writing (and) a blog. So welcome to my blog. I hope that you'll enjoy reading it as much as I know I'll enjoy writing it. I'll probably use it mostly for sharing my aphorisms, poems and some fashion-related stuff but we'll really see better as we go along!
Oh and the meaning of the cemetary story? In my opinion, sometimes the best thing you can do is really question your thoughts and take a moment to ask what's the emotion that is blocking your way into achieving or doing something that you really want to do. You already know what you want to do. But most of the time, all that inner knowing gets buried under the fear, as the things that we desire the most, are actually the things that we are the most afraid of. And the cure to the fear is to acknowledge and understand that even if the emotions and thoughts can seem very real, they only become one (the reality) if you believe in them and make a conscious to decision to follow them into something that only serves as the opposite of what you truly want.
Again, welcome to my blog.
Your heart pounds, your legs transform from actual legs to overcooked spaghetti and you turn your head from side to side to spot the attacker that you just know to be there. The head-spinning is, of course, just a safety precaution while you're trying to decide whether to just keep it cool (like that is an option) or just run already because it is better to be safe than sorry right? I mean, when the attack does happen, what are you gonna tell the local news, that you just stood there? Really?? I mean, you know even you can't sink as low as that.
That's the thing about fear. You do something for two minutes, whether it is walking through a cemetary in the middle of the night (not recommending this to anyone, just to be clear) or you decide to do something that you just know to be your heart's desire, and just in two minutes you've gone from spaghetti-legged-you into a ghost-beaten local news hero. Wow. Quite an imagination. So, a lot can happen in two minutes, especially when we're talking about fear-based thoughts that actually don't have any connection to the human reality. The power of thoughts is amazing, but before you start believing in the power of them, it is good to ask whether those thoughts are just based on an emotion that really doesn't serve your highest good. Not anymore, at least.
But what does all this cemetary talk have to do with me and my blog?
I think everyone who knows me well (enough) knows that I've had a huge passion for writing since forever. I'm not talking about a mere liking here but, literally, a huge passion. I write poetry and aphorisms and if there is such a thing as a BIG dream, being a writer is definitely that to me.
Another fact that I've known about myself ever since the internet came along, is that I want to have a blog. And, since the internet came along quite some time ago, it is quite clear that I've been pushing my dream away for quite some time already. Why? All because of fear. What if something goes wrong?? What if my blog is boring? What if no one wants to read it? And most of all, what will everybody think???? (Here I should probably point out that out that I don't even know who "everybody" is.)
As I believe that when it comes to dreams it's never too late, here I go giving a chance to my two dreams combined into one: writing (and) a blog. So welcome to my blog. I hope that you'll enjoy reading it as much as I know I'll enjoy writing it. I'll probably use it mostly for sharing my aphorisms, poems and some fashion-related stuff but we'll really see better as we go along!
Oh and the meaning of the cemetary story? In my opinion, sometimes the best thing you can do is really question your thoughts and take a moment to ask what's the emotion that is blocking your way into achieving or doing something that you really want to do. You already know what you want to do. But most of the time, all that inner knowing gets buried under the fear, as the things that we desire the most, are actually the things that we are the most afraid of. And the cure to the fear is to acknowledge and understand that even if the emotions and thoughts can seem very real, they only become one (the reality) if you believe in them and make a conscious to decision to follow them into something that only serves as the opposite of what you truly want.
Again, welcome to my blog.
Love,
Maria
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Ever since I was a kid and knew how to read, I knew that I wanted to be a writer. I used to read all the time , and when I say all the time... -
Go to my new blog from here: mariakaarinak.com
-
If I should name one single reason why I shouldn't write a blog, it would be the fact that putting yourself out there can seem quite da...